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Andrew's Journal

 

 

 

My imagined self

There is a darkness here.  An emptiness.  
An exposure to raw reality that bites.  Hurts.  
The question that has been answered has left me in silence.  
Stunned.  
 
As I improve in my practice of being present I lead my future self further down the executioners long hallway.  With every step I feel the cold of honesty that lives in the prese...
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If only....

Self doubt can show up for all of us.  It’s those times we tell ourselves that who we want to be or the way we want to live is not realistic, or too far off to reach.  We fill our journals with the reasons we’ve identified as the barriers to our success.  Most of the statements begin with “if only”….    If only I had more time.   If only I had the ...
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Beautiful demon

So much in this world to feel, to hate, to run from, to chase.  Have my deepest desires been rooted in my efforts to get away?  Has the motivation for my achievement been the fear of being with my wounded soul?  What are you retreating from?  Who’s chasing you?  
The demon is within.  
Everywhere I go I bring it.  Failure and falling on my face s...
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Voodoos of ambition

“Today I'm flying low and I'm not saying a word. I'm letting all the voodoos of ambition sleep. The world goes on as it must, the bees in the garden rumbling a little, the fish leaping, the gnats getting eaten. And so forth. But I'm taking the day off. Quiet as a feather. I hardly move though really I'm traveling a terrific distance. Stillness. One...
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The gift of separation

What am I learning?  
To allow and to look.
To dive deep under the surface of any experience and allow it to be whatever unfolds while bringing my best self to this moment.  My best self no longer means my “shiny” self or my “clean” self.  But my True Self. The entirety of who I am, the brilliant and radiant parts and also the dark and shadowed. ...
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Recognizing our attachments and the role of impermanence

Permanence - the state or quality of lasting forever, unchanged.  
 
Funny how often we find ourselves disrupted by the suddenness of change.  The relationship that we thought would last forever, abruptly diverging into separate paths; the concept or idea of how we relate to a part of our world such as finances or work rapidly changing without a ...
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